Hey. Remember me? It's your old friend Greasy bag o'Chips! Long time, no see. Where 'ya been? I haven't seen you in a while.What 'ya been doin'? I hope you haven't gotten all HEALTHY on me. Recently, people have been eating all this stuff that's supposed to be good for 'em and I've been sittin' on the shelf doin' nothin'.
Nothin'. No munch, no crunch. Nothin'.
Uh..excuse me, but I'm your favorite snack, REMEMBER? What happened? Where'd 'ya go?
I kinda miss'ya. We were so close. We used to hang out all the time. Remember? Sure you do. Everytime you watched TV, there we were...ME with a crispy snack at your fingertips and YOU with a greasy ring around your lips. Ah, good times.
How's the family? I haven't seen them around much, either. I heard a rumor (from the pretzel brothers) that they are eating more nuts and fruits, lately. Nuts & fruits? You gotta be kiddin'. What are you...squirrels?
Come back to da chips, baby. You know you want da chips!
Remember the satisfaction of stuffing your face with a mouthful of crispy, crunchy, deep-fried potato heaven...oozing between your fingers with delicious "mystery" oil and bombarding your tastebuds with an explosion of salt?
Remember how you used to crunch and crunch and crunch and wipe a greasy handprint of trans-fatty fat on your shirt as oily crumbs fall from your shiny lips down into the cushions on the sofa?
Yeah. Those were the days.
Now, they got these new BAKED chips that are less greasy and better for you. Baked? C'mon! These are chips that we're talkin' about - not pies!
Remember, I'm on the shelf if you want me. And deep down inside-you know you want me.
And by the way....marshmallow breakfast cereal, rock candy, blue soda and bacon triple cheeseburger say hello.
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